I am a firm believer that if you know, you teach. If you have, you share. If you need, you ask for help. That is the way that my world works, and I must admit that I don't really understand others who operate differently.
One of the most baffling persons I ever met had an attitude of "job protectionism". He made sure that there were certain elements of his job that he would never, ever share with anyone. He would not teach anyone his entire job. He reasoned that with "gaps" in knowledge no one would be able to perform his job to completion or perfection if he was away on holidays or off sick, and this would serve as a reminder to his employers that they needed him. Therefore, he reasoned, his job would be safe and he would never be fired.
In my mind, he failed to count on two things. The first thing is what he missed out on by trying to protect his job. Without showing anyone what he really did, he missed an opportunity to have someone show him how to do something differently, more efficiently, perhaps better. This brings point number two which is that he never really allowed himself to work with someone either so he never fully developed work bonds and could not surround himself with people that wanted to work with or for him. In the end he was a bit of an unhappy island and he wound up quitting his job completely miserable with his working environment. I wonder if he learnt anything?
The next type of person that just astounds me is the person that hordes all he/she has. This can be a minute amount of stuff or a plethora of goods. I have always believed that the richest of people can have nothing because if all they have is money, all they have is money. In order to be truly rich you need to have people in your life that value you and that you value. You need love and companionship. You need joy and good in your life. You need to experience life in order to really live it. If you hold on to what you have then you wind up holding on very tightly to worldly goods while the world and those in it slip further and further from your grasp. We are social beings and it is in our best interest to share what is ours. This will bring others to us, and us to others. It will ensure that we have to give and that others give to us. This is what makes us rich beyond measure. Money helps, but without anything else in your life, I put you in the "have not" column by a long shot.
And lastly, if you need help ask. Or, if help is offered take it. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help, in fact it is an act of bravery to have enough faith in another person to share your need and to ask for their help. Please too remember that when someone offers to help, it is as hurtful to them to be turned down, as it is when you know someone has the means to help and when you ask they refuse. A kind person is willing to help, sometimes they just need you to ask so that they know you are open to it and that his or her offer will not be rebuked.
And lastly, if you are going to teach, if you are going to share, if you are going to help, please do it from a place of good intention and spirit and not from a place of ego. Believe me you are not helping your friend learn to run when all you do is belittle her, mock her, or make her exceed her potential. You help her by getting out there with her and encouraging her to place one foot in front of the other. You become her cheerleader and she will amaze you with how far she can go. Motivating is encouragement and love. Scolding is shameful and rude and it destroys rather than creates motivation.
If you are going to share give from the heart and do so with no expectation. Do not give under the condition that the person you share with is going to reciprocate. We are all able to chose who we share with, when we share, and what we share. And lastly, when you help do so with a generous heart. Help because it is the right thing to do and because it helps you as much as the person who needs it. Help because it is healing and kind and it will make you grow into a better person. Help quietly and without judgement because as soon as you judge, you negate the deed. If you cannot help without passing judgement then please do not offer assistance, someone else will do so instead. Also, only help within your limits. I will not extend myself beyond my means, I will not brake any laws, and I reserve the right to back away if it gets to be too much for me to handle.
Hugs to all of you as we enter December. I hope that we all become a little softer and remember that we all have it in us to help someone less fortunate than we are. And, I'm not talking money.
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