the sum of my parts

If I define myself as just one thing, any one thing, when the times comes where I am no longer that thing does that mean that I am no longer either?  I worry about broad brush strokes and the general labels we put on almost everything and everyone these days. I know that I am more than a one word description, I am the sum of my parts.

A number of years ago I decided that I was going to retool my life. I was going to walk away from things that weren't working for me and I was going to start over. As part of this new path I promised myself that I was going to surround myself with people that saw me the way that I saw myself. I was going to spend time with those who lifted me up and walk away from those that tore me down. 

I put great effort into my life. I make conscious choices to see the positive in my world.  I try to walk through my life in a conscious state and not mindlessly wander through the haze.  I take action to ensure that I get out of this life what I would like to get out of it and not what someone else decides to "dole" out to me. And I try to make sure that I positively affect my corner of the world so that people want to spend time with me because I am one of the ones that lift them up.

As part of this effort I surround myself with positive people. My group of friends are people that I enjoy spending time with. I always walk away from them feeling better than I did when we said "hello".  Even when one of us needs help or comfort while moving through a difficult time or situation, we are there to help out, but we do not leave feeling drained and exhausted dreading the next time we meet.  This is what it means to be a friend. To celebrate the good times but to share the burden of the hard times so that the hard times pass that much quicker and we come out of them stronger for the experience. 

I have also committed to being more healthy because I ask much of my body to move around and just "be" every day. The best that I can do for myself is to honour my body and give it what it needs to perform the tasks I ask of it. Though I push my body very hard to complete runs, bikes, swims, workouts and general moving about each day; I also reward it and make it stronger by completing these activities. A body in motion remains in motion. I want to remain in motion for some time to come.

So what to do when a situation arises that asks me to spend time with negative people who define me in broad strokes and one word descriptions, none of which I would use to define myself. The ones that I discount not because they are simply limiting but because they are limiting, dismissive and rude? 

Today I am going to walk into a room where very few people know me, and most of the ones that do define me in lose terms and they don't really like me.  At least, this is how I feel when I am with them.  I have to do this because it is expected of me, or I would simply "opt" out.   In order to get through it with dignity and decorum I have made a decision to get through it with both. I am also going with my husband because he will lift me up and he will celebrate me and all that I am.  I spent time with my husband,my dog and my friends and running supporters this morning so that I could strengthen myself and my belief in me before I even walk out the door tonight.  What is more is that I will remind myself that I am strong, smart, athletic, lovable, and wise. I am a good wife, a good friend, a good sister, a good daughter and a good aunt.  I am a great dog mom and a good neighbour. I am kind to others and I wish only the best for those around me.  I am all of these things because I am a whole person, the total sum of my parts; and what is more important is that I am not defined, labelled, brought down or belittled by those who chose to see me any other way.